Still a little drunk but not in that can't-walk type of way; more like the everything-is-fucking-hilarious leftover drunk, know what I mean?
Turns out, the event wasn't at the Empty Bottle at all but instead at the Logan Square Auditorium. They gave us gift bags from The Pleasure Chest (came with pens, paddle, button and vibrator sans batteries), free moscato AND Jeanette snagged us seats right in front. The hosts were hilarious and the best-kiss/worst-date stories made me "awww" and "bwahahaha" respectively; Derby Girls (The Fury!!!) went around with free moscato and $2 Valentine cards, proceeds going to charity (I bought 2: one for Jeanette and another for the musician onstage - despite him constantly being referenced as MIKE, I wrote "Drummer Guy" in the To field and signed it with my number and "The Chick with the Weird Glasses").
After the stories and before The Black Belles, Jeanette and I played the "Stranger Danger" game which, if you've never heard of it before, it's basically going up to random people and talking to them for however long the conversation goes.
(Not gonna lie to you, it's really just socializing but if the person decides they want to be lame and not talk to you, you can shrug it off like, "Whatever, IDGAF, I'm not embarassed and my feelings aren't hurt, you were literally a game to me.")
Fortunately, this has yet to happen to me *cough*happensallthetime*cough* but last night I harassed a redhead and we bonded over a shared love of Florence's tresses and then after her friend came back talkin bout "Sorry but you're sitting on all of my belongings" I went back to Jeanette and we descended upon two men, a Jew named John (original, I know) and his Filipino friend (I totally forgot his name). Jew John showed off his Ween tattoo and bought me a beer then The Black Belles came on.
I thought I was going to see a whole Black Belles show but naw, they did like 4 songs. There were maybe twenty people on front of the stage and 4 of us were dancing. Jeanette and I were rocking out right up front and this cute hipster couple came over to dance with us since most people were just bobbing their head and tapping their feet.
Can someone please explain to me when this whole "dancing is for lames" shit started? Honestly, it's like motherfuckers pay money to come out and act like they're listening to the radio. Even the lead singer was like, "I feel so uncomfortable right now."
Anyway, the girls ended with an extended version of Dead Shoe and while this might not be true, I'm almost positive they played it specifically cos my drunk ass kept yelling (and getting Jew John to yell) Dead Shoe from five feet in front of them. Totally worth it though.
Before we left, we chatted up some of The Black Belles, asked Jew John to take pictures with my shitty phone, gave Jew John my number and traded a cigarette for a fresh bottle of pink moscato with the Emeri guy working the bar. I let Jeanette take the moscato cos I'm a lady... Actually, she might've stolen it from that guy. Not sure. Whatevs, it was delicious.
Like I said, Best Valentine's ever.
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