No calls, no texts, no re-blogs, no mentions, no DMs, no Replys/Replay Alls.
Tuesday, I quit you.
.... And it's not even 2.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sonofabitch
There is literally NOTHING happening in this stupid office right now. I don't have any work to do and I'm tired of Tumblr.
Yes, it is possible to tire of Tumblr.
I have a story I could be working on but I have it all on my laptop.
That's obviously a shitty excuse but fuck it, I don't have to answer to you, Mr. No One Is Reading This But Me.
Stupid judgmental fuck.
Yes, it is possible to tire of Tumblr.
I have a story I could be working on but I have it all on my laptop.
That's obviously a shitty excuse but fuck it, I don't have to answer to you, Mr. No One Is Reading This But Me.
Stupid judgmental fuck.
Maybe I'm just depressed
I tend to fall into these little black holes of emotion from time to time (at least twice a month) where I don't want to care about anybody and don't understand why anyone would care about me.
I don't want to be friends. I don't want to be lovers. I don't want to talk to you, no matter who you are. I just want to be alone. I like being alone. Prefer it, even when I can't stand myself.
Long frozen winter walks and a breadcrumb trail consisting of cigarette butts and dirty kleenex.
Thank God I only have to work three days this week.
I don't want to be friends. I don't want to be lovers. I don't want to talk to you, no matter who you are. I just want to be alone. I like being alone. Prefer it, even when I can't stand myself.
Long frozen winter walks and a breadcrumb trail consisting of cigarette butts and dirty kleenex.
Thank God I only have to work three days this week.
Monday, December 26, 2011
People are disappointing
I'm not talking about the Piercer or even the Weedman though they have disappointed me and probably a bunch of other people too. I'm talking about everyone, even myself. Especially myself since this a blog that follows no one and no one follows it which gives me a certain freedom to be as big a narcissistic asshole as I please.
I recently hurt the feelings of a friend, ruining a friendship possibly forever. He's not a real "grew-up-with-me", "bought-me-a-pizza-once" type friend, he was an online friend, one of my first Twitter follows. We used to talk about the most benign shit and slowly I realized all of his tweets that weren't mentioning me (or anyone else) were bitter and depressing. It would frustrate me because I hate when people fish for pity like that. Like when a totally hot chick talks about how ugly and/or fat she is just to hear people say, "What? You're beautiful!" He was always talking about how the place he lived depressed him, his wife depressed him, his money depressed him blah blah blah depressing. At the same time, he chose to live where he lives, he'd just received and blown through an inheritance and I don't even feel I have to say it but you choose who you spend your life with.
An apology is definitely in order but I'm no good at that. I'm also no good at bullshitting people and putting on a happy face. I was honest with him about how his borderline-stalking me on Twitter was annoying but that wasn't all I had to say. I stopped myself because I didn't want him to go nuts. Even if I try to fix it now, I won't be able to.
Not even sure if I even want to.
I recently hurt the feelings of a friend, ruining a friendship possibly forever. He's not a real "grew-up-with-me", "bought-me-a-pizza-once" type friend, he was an online friend, one of my first Twitter follows. We used to talk about the most benign shit and slowly I realized all of his tweets that weren't mentioning me (or anyone else) were bitter and depressing. It would frustrate me because I hate when people fish for pity like that. Like when a totally hot chick talks about how ugly and/or fat she is just to hear people say, "What? You're beautiful!" He was always talking about how the place he lived depressed him, his wife depressed him, his money depressed him blah blah blah depressing. At the same time, he chose to live where he lives, he'd just received and blown through an inheritance and I don't even feel I have to say it but you choose who you spend your life with.
An apology is definitely in order but I'm no good at that. I'm also no good at bullshitting people and putting on a happy face. I was honest with him about how his borderline-stalking me on Twitter was annoying but that wasn't all I had to say. I stopped myself because I didn't want him to go nuts. Even if I try to fix it now, I won't be able to.
Not even sure if I even want to.
Friday, December 23, 2011
My Weedman
Met this guy about a month ago, Jack. Jack the Weedman. Unreliable, inconsistent but close as shit. When I first met him he said he could deliver, especially since we live in such close proximity to each other. Come to find out, this dude has a little black book full of excuses for not delivering.
"My roommate has the car right now." (Despite him claiming the car was his)
"I have people over right now." (Turns out, it's his roommate visiting the living room)
Or the most popular excuse that comes about 3 hours after the initial request, "You still need that?" Yes, I do still need that. 45 minutes later: "My roommate has the car right now."
ajhgfhjagfdlhagsldgf YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME
Cut to: earlier this afternoon, I'm cleaning my apartment and realize I could be stoned doing this. I call him and his cousin (another drug dealer that sucks at selling drugs) answers. I've met him once before but he's a total pothead so our one session together might not have stayed in his memory bank but got washed away by a green wave of smoke. I try to jog his memory ("...the girl with glasses?") and ask for Jack.
"He's upstairs - he'll be a few minutes, I'll have him call you back."
"Okay cool thanks."
Click (or "tap" or "sliede", whatever)
This was at about 3. About half-hour ago I sent him a text with three question marks, that's all. He replies "sorry ten mind [sic]". That was at 5:03, he replied at 5:06, I replied with my address (again) -- it's 5:25.
At this point, I'm just being stubborn for not going over there but fuck it. This dude said he delivers. YOU'RE GONNA DELIVER TONIGHT, DUDE. The fuck.
This fucking guy.
"My roommate has the car right now." (Despite him claiming the car was his)
"I have people over right now." (Turns out, it's his roommate visiting the living room)
Or the most popular excuse that comes about 3 hours after the initial request, "You still need that?" Yes, I do still need that. 45 minutes later: "My roommate has the car right now."
ajhgfhjagfdlhagsldgf YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME
Cut to: earlier this afternoon, I'm cleaning my apartment and realize I could be stoned doing this. I call him and his cousin (another drug dealer that sucks at selling drugs) answers. I've met him once before but he's a total pothead so our one session together might not have stayed in his memory bank but got washed away by a green wave of smoke. I try to jog his memory ("...the girl with glasses?") and ask for Jack.
"He's upstairs - he'll be a few minutes, I'll have him call you back."
"Okay cool thanks."
Click (or "tap" or "sliede", whatever)
This was at about 3. About half-hour ago I sent him a text with three question marks, that's all. He replies "sorry ten mind [sic]". That was at 5:03, he replied at 5:06, I replied with my address (again) -- it's 5:25.
At this point, I'm just being stubborn for not going over there but fuck it. This dude said he delivers. YOU'RE GONNA DELIVER TONIGHT, DUDE. The fuck.
This fucking guy.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Maybe I Over-Reacted...
OR MAYBE I'M REALLY GOOD AT SMELLING BULLSHIT.
Could be I was over-reacting, though. Piercer McGee sent me a text yesterday responding to the one I sent on Saturday (or Friday, I can't remember or check since I deleted him out of my phone completely) saying "Well, thanks. Sorry I rarely have my phone on when I'm on vacation".
It makes sense but meh. I don't know. I was maybe over-reacting but I'm still salty that I miss him more than he does me.
Then again, I tend to miss everyone more than they seem to miss me. I miss my friends when I don't hear from them for a while. Or a couple of days. Or hours. Whatever.
I'm not clingy I just crush a lot.
S/o Big Pun, RIP.
Could be I was over-reacting, though. Piercer McGee sent me a text yesterday responding to the one I sent on Saturday (or Friday, I can't remember or check since I deleted him out of my phone completely) saying "Well, thanks. Sorry I rarely have my phone on when I'm on vacation".
It makes sense but meh. I don't know. I was maybe over-reacting but I'm still salty that I miss him more than he does me.
Then again, I tend to miss everyone more than they seem to miss me. I miss my friends when I don't hear from them for a while. Or a couple of days. Or hours. Whatever.
I'm not clingy I just crush a lot.
S/o Big Pun, RIP.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
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